The Convertible "Infinity" Dress: How it almost defeated me, and what you need to make one

I made this thing. It's pretty cool. It's a convertible dress that's basically a circle and two straps, so it's really easy, inexpensive, and crazy versatile. It's been around forever and everyone seems to love it (in fact, part of the reason I'm posting this is so the people I've run into can make their own), and I can hardly believe how close I came to not making it at all.

I first found the instructions at a blog called rostitchery, and then I came across a second set at Cut Out + Keep. It sounded so easy. Cut out a circle with a hole in it, sew on two straps, and voila, a dress you can wear a hundred different ways. Sign me up! I have a sewing machine! Sure I can sew a straight line! Let's get this done!

So I bought some material, spread it out in the living room, cut out my pieces, and...

...stopped.

I didn't understand the next step.

Turn the skirt inside out? But it's just a circle. I can turn it... upside-down I guess. That doesn't seem right. Why would I want to sew the straps straps to the back of the skirt instead of with the right sides facing? If I do sew them to the back, should I pin them flush with the waistband, or should they overlap the waistband and hang the other way?

And what's this about making them overlap each other? By how much? Why?

There's, like, a band of fabric involved? It goes around your waist somehow? And its only purpose is to create a finished edge around the back of the dress? So it's supposed to go behind the straps instead of below them? And you're supposed to pin it and sew it all together at once? Even the overlapping straps? With one seam?

What?

I figured I was just being thick. Other people had figured this dress out from the very same instructions. So I googled every blog and article I could find and looked at every available photo of the dress, but there wasn't much in the way of diagrams or clear photos of the process. I read about 15 pages into the 140-page forum thread on Craftster. I saw people who seemed confused like me. Unfortunately, the craftsters clever enough to figure it out were posting photo after photo of their successes, and didn't go into much detail. The photos showed the dresses in action with the straps wrapped all around the area I needed to get a look at. There just wasn't much to grab on to, for someone as dumb at sewing instructions as I am.

So I folded up my circle and my straps and I put it all back in the bag it came in. Cheerfully, I declared, "This isn't fun anymore," though I felt heavy with disappointment. "I quit."

And I went upstairs to watch TV.

A couple of hours later, some of the concepts had settled in a bit, and I thought I might finally be able to make some sense of things if I stopped worrying about the words and tried to put the dress together the way it seemed like it should go. I decided to go back and give it a shot.

I was wearing my new dress after about half an hour. I'll be honest... I still don't understand the part about turning the skirt inside out, but I do know that even without understanding everything, I was finally able to conquer the project and ended up with something lovely. There was a whole lot of research involved on the way, though. And a lot of frustration because I hadn't really ever sewn anything without a pattern. So here are the things I wished someone could've told me before I started (and a few answers that I was able to find, but didn't realize the importance of until later). Start by reading the original instructions at rostitchery and/or Cut Out + Keep, and then use the information below to hopefully help clarify anything that might've gone over your head.

1. Select a stretchy knit with spandex in it. The straps have to be super stretchy to form and twist around your body. And choose a fabric that doesn't have a distinguishable reverse side, because you're going to see the back of the straps.
2. The fabric-choosing rules don't really apply to the skirt. If you want to use a material that doesn't fit the bill, you can use it for the skirt as long as you can find a complementary samey-sided stretchy knit for the straps and waistband.
3. Here's how you figure out how much material you need.
      - A square for the skirt (so if you're using 60"-wide material, you need 60" length), plus
      - 1.5 times your height (if you're five feet tall, that's seven and a half feet, or two and a half yards... but you can round down if you're five and a half feet, no problem), plus
      - about 20" for the waistband.
   So for me, using a 60"-wide knit and being 5'5", my dress takes almost five yards. 
4. You'll have a bunch of leftovers, because the straps have to be cut along the length, which leaves a big rectangle of material. Want to be clever? You should have plenty left to cut out a second set of straps/band. You can then pair it with a square of any coordinating material for a second skirt and make another dress. Thrifty!
5. It's going to be a pain in the butt to cut your straps. That's not a tip... I just don't want you to be surprised.
6. Subtract about three inches from your waist/underbust measurement and cut the waistband to that new number instead of your actual measurements. It's stretchy!
7. Although this calls for a single seam, it's tough to pin four (and in some places, five) layers of fabric all correctly at once. If you, like me, have a geometrically-clumsy brain, you can sew your straps to the front of the dress first, and then do the waistband separately with a second seam over your first. 
8. The straps have to overlap one another in the middle, but it's hard to tell how much. Plan on about five inches of overlap at the seam, but angle them slightly so that there's only a 5"–7" triangle of overlap above the skirt. This part isn't an exact science, but if you overlap too little, you'll have to wear something under the dress because it won't cover anything.
9. Oh, and if you use a jersey material that's likely to curl up at the edges, take that into consideration when determining your overlap.The width of your straps might end up smaller than what you cut. (Typically, cutting the straps along the length should keep them from curling in that direction, though.)
10. You'll end up pinning your overlapping straps to your circle skirt with the right sides facing and the cut edges aligned. See diagram below.
11. On the finished dress, the band will hug your middle and be visible above the top of the skirt, but only in the back. In the front, it'll be hidden behind the straps. The top edge of the dress, therefore, will be the folded-over edge of the band, and below that will be the nice finished seam that's created when you sew it to the skirt. Make the band wide enough so that when you turn the dress backwards, it will cover your bust.
12. Then you'll pin your band, folded in half (with the "right" side out—although of course there should be barely any difference between the right and wrong sides), over the seam where you just sewed the straps. The cut edges will again line up with the cut edges of the straps and the circle-opening.
13. Even if it's three inches smaller than your true waist measurement, the inner circle cut to the new measurement will be too big. It'll probably fall right off your hips. But the waistband, cut to the same measurement, should fit nicely. So you have two choices: either cut your circle-hole even smaller in the first place, or gather the circle evenly around the waistband when you pin it together. I like the second option, because it makes the skirt fuller.
14. You're going to sew the waistband into a ring. Plan for its seam to land behind one of the straps, but just barely. Try to get it as close to the side of the dress as you can. It should be under your arm, but slightly forward so it's hidden by the strap.
15. I think this diagram might help:

Mind you, in spite of all my whining, the original directions from rostitchery and Cut Out + Keep are extremely helpful, and I would never have known where to begin if it hadn't been for both of those posts. I'm pretty sure it's my impatience and lack of experience that made the project so tough for me to figure out. However, if my diagram and the links I've collected below can save at least one person from the frustration I experienced, then it's all been worth it. It really is a simple project that anyone can make.

Even me.

And once you've finished yours, bully for you! Check out all the ways you can wrap it. And these are just the basic ones! It's fun to stand in front of the mirror and make up new styles. You can twist the straps or not twist them, wear them in the front or turn the whole dress around backwards, and choose between keeping the waistband at your waist, hiking it up above your bust to make a minidress, or pulling it down just above your hips to wear as a skirt. Cross the straps? Knot them? So. Many. Options!

The design itself has dubious beginnings. Some call it a classic, other cite a designer. This blog talks about that a bit, and one designer who's been credited with first designing the dress (for "Butter by Nadia," as pictured, left) chimes in to explain her role in the story. The fact is, lovely and simple as this dress is, a lot of people have probably designed it independently from one another. It brilliantly sort of strips the idea of a dress down to its most basic concepts. Surely by now it belongs in the crafty version of the public domain, at least for sewing-types (and the rest of us) to make their own.

Since you're not using an actual pattern, I guess it's even okay to sell your own version of this dress, and many people certainly do. I've posted a couple of links below as examples. As for me, I'll continue making them for myself and friends until everyone I know is sick of it and doesn't ever want to see a dress again as long as they live.

Good luck!

Collected links:
Rostitchery blog instructions
Cut Out + Keep project page
Craftster thread
Origin story
$895 somewhat-comparable version of this dress from Donna Karan
List of infinity dresses for sale on Etsy, from $30–$200

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Chocolate Chip Habañero Muffins, just in case you're awesome

Chocolate and heat are great together. That is, if you're brave enough to handle a little something spicy with your chocolate. I know I am, but I also know that some people are big cowards. I'm sure that's not you. Scaredy cats like that probably bug the pants off you.

Anyway, since you and I are similarly stouthearted when it comes to our peppers, I felt like making us up a batch of something hot-chocolatey. Chocolate usually gets paired with cayenne, which is nice. But I was curious about what would happen if I tried combining it with the flavor or fresh habañero peppers instead.

So I chose this excellent double chocolate muffin from Cookie Madness, sneaked in a couple of very hot, very fresh peppers from a local farmer's market, and voila! New favorite muffin of the week.

The chocolate doesn't leave room for much of the pepper's sweetness, but fresh pepper flavor peeps through and gives the muffin a familiar-but-more-interesting-than-expected taste. Each deliciously dense and chocolatey bite is followed by a surprising lingering spiciness.

I seem to have a reputation around here for disliking spicy foods, but I don't know where that ever came from. Maybe my threshold for heat, although remarkable and something to be admired, just isn't as impressive as it could be. I'm no lily-livered spice-weenie, make no mistake, but I don't really enjoy eating anything that makes my lips sting or my nose run. So although for me, two peppers is the ideal balance, I suppose you could add a third if you wanted something a little bolder. (But not for breakfast, right? I mean... right? Take it easy out there! You just rolled out of bed and you're gonna pop twenty-five thousand scoville units* in your gob?)

On the other hand, you could use just one little pepper if you're some kind of sissy who can't handle a little heat, like for instance if you are a giant chicken posing as a man.

*I'm not actually sure that you can break down Scoville units that way, but if a pepper rates at 100,000 and you divide three of them amongst a dozen muffins, then maybe each muffin contains 100,000*3/12—aka 100,000/4, aka 25,000—units? I don't know. I would be interested in knowing if it works that way. Anybody?

Chocolate Chip Habañero Muffins

Makes 12

• 3/4 cup light brown sugar, packed
• 1/2 cup unsalted butter, melted
  
• 1 cup plain Greek yogurt
• 1 egg
• 1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
• 2 habañero peppers
• 1 3/4 cups flour
• 1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1 1/2 tsp baking powder
• 1 heaping cup semisweet chocolate chips (mini chips are ideal)

1. Preheat oven to 350. Grease a muffin tin.
   
2. Stir brown sugar and melted butter together in a medium size bowl. 
3. Coarsely chop the peppers and place them (seeds and all—be brave!) into a blender. Add yogurt, egg and vanilla. Puree until the pepper is thoroughly pureed and the whole mixture is well blended.
4. Combine flour, cocoa, salt and baking powder in a large mixing bowl. Add yogurt mixture to flour mixture, stirring only until blended. Too much stirring will turn your muffins into bricks.
5. Fold in chocolate chips. 
6. Spoon batter into greased muffin cups and bake 22-25 minutes.

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Cheesy garlic tomato biscuits

We haven't been grocery shopping in two weeks. It's bleak. Last night, just for a second, I could've sworn John was a delicious roasted turkey.

Obviously, we should just go to the store. (And in about half an hour, we'll leave for the farmer's market, and come back with honey, cheese, and maybe a vegetable if we see one, without any plan whatsoever for what we're going to make out of those things.We're not good at the farmer's market. But we're practicing.)

In the meantime, I took it upon myself to figure out what I could make out of the odds and ends we had in the pantry. I came up with these little biscuits. They're full of tomato, and I knew that meant John might hate them, and that could be a problem. If I'm going to have to eat the guy soon, I don't want him to be skin and bones, you know? But I took my chances.

Originally, I tried making tomato muffins. But I didn't like the muffin part. I only liked the top part. So I rearranged them into biscuits instead, sort of stuffed with cheese and tomatoes. They're savory, like you'd want to eat them with a salad. Even alone, they're very tasty.

Just how tasty, you ask?

John likes them! Hooray!

(Not that I'm going to eat him.)

Tomato Biscuits

Makes 18–24

• 4 Tbsp butter, melted
• 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 3 1/2 tsp baking powder
• 1 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp garlic powder
• Pinch of dried parsley
• 1 Tbsp grated parmesan/romano
• 3/4 cups milk
• 2 eggs
• 2 Tbsp tomato paste
• 5 T grated cheese (I used a cheddar blend)
• About 1/2 an 8 oz. can diced tomatoes, drained

1. Preheat your oven to 400°F. Lightly grease a cookie sheet.
2. In a big bowl, stir together the dry ingredients: flour, baking powder, salt and seasoning. 
3. In a smaller bowl, whisk together the milk and eggs. Add the tomato paste one tablespoon at a time and whisk it like crazy so that the egg mixture turns pink throughout, not yellow with red clumps.
4. Make a well in the center of the flour mixture. Pour in the milk mixture and the butter. Stir just until evenly moistened (and not a moment more). The batter will be very thick and sticky.
5. Drop half the batter by tablespoons onto the cookie sheet. Sprinkle some cheese on each and place a few tomato pieces on top and gently press into the batter. Cover the cheese and tomato with the rest of the batter. Sprinkle some more cheese (and parmesan) over each biscuit.
6. Bake until the biscuits are golden, dry and springy to the touch, 18 to 22 minutes. Do not overbake. Serve warm. 

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Perfect brownies, the Pentagon way

The Pentagon has released a 26-page official brownie recipe, which I recently discovered via Reason.com. (My verification of this document extends only to googling the doc number and seeing that no one has publicly debunked it. Plus, it totally looks real. So.)

The most interesting part of this document to me isn't that it exists — although that in itself is a hell of a thing — but that at the end of the day, the United States federal government's brownie and cookie standards are really not so different from my own. They're just a whole lot more specific. For instance:

3.4 Finished product requirements (brownies and oatmeal cookies). The finished product shall comply with the following requirements, as applicable:


a. There shall be no foreign material such as, but not limited to, dirt, insect parts, hair, wood, glass, or metal.


b. There shall be no foreign odor or flavor such as, but not limited to, burnt, scorched, stale, sour, rancid, musty, or moldy.

c. There shall be no color foreign to the product.

d. Chocolate coating shall completely cover the product.

e. Product shall not be broken or crushed.

f. The dimensions of the coated brownie shall not exceed 3-1/2 inches by 2-1/2 inches by 5/8 inch.

g. The weight of the coated brownie shall be not less than 46 grams.

h. The texture of the brownie shall be firm but not hard.

i.  The rectangular shaped coated oatmeal cookie shall not exceed 3-1/2 by 2-1/2 inches and shall not exceed 7/16 inch thickness.

  j.  The interior of the coated oatmeal cookie shall be crisp and have the characteristic flavor of oatmeal.

  k.  The weight of the coated oatmeal cookie shall be not less than 43 grams.

  l.  The chocolate coating shall be free from cracks, chips or rough spots. 

Here I'd have just said, "Hey, sure, I like brownies." But look at everything I would've left out!

While I disagree summarily on article f (by all means, exceed away), I think I need to start putting a finer point on my preference for treats complying with the rest of these rules. If there's one thing I can stand to learn, it's that you can't assume everyone automatically knows what you want. You'll get musty, moldy brownies with bug legs and glass chunks. Point taken, Government. Point taken.

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Cookin' Greek

Last weekend, I went to the Marietta Diner. Yes! The Marietta Diner! The one with the giant sandwiches, incredible pies, generous portions, and crazy-authentic Greek cooking! So guess what I ordered?

Two fried eggs and a bowl of fruit.

It was late, dude. I was not hungry.

Naturally, I regretted my decision immediately, and felt even more remorseful in the morning, as I thought of all the delicious spanikopita and feta-laden pitas I could've had. And pies! Oh, the pies... why didn't I at least have them wrap one up to take home with me?

So here's what I did. I went back to an magazine I remembered seeing a pork souvlaki recipe in. I hunted down instructions for tzatziki in Amy Sedaris's cookbook, I Like You. And I made those things. And I ate them. And lo, they were delicious. And I considered this my absolution.

Amy Sedaris's tzatziki is easier than the one I tried (and failed at) about four years ago. You peel, chop and salt a cucumber, press it in the fridge until all the liquid comes out, and mix it up with greek yogurt, garlic, lemon juice and dill. But I'm not going to tell you the recipe properly because it isn't mine to tell. Get the book! You'll like it.

I do at least have a link to the recipe for the souvlaki and apricots, because it's online at FoodNetwork.com. I didn't change anything. No, that's not true. I used scallions instead of shallots (they never have shallots at the grocery store by me, what's that all about man) and I skipped the pine nuts. Everything else, I did just as the recipe ordered, and it was wonderful. So, um... I guess I'm really just bragging, since I haven't got a single recipe to actually post for you.

Well, bragging and offering my advice.

Oh, here's a little more advice. In the same issue of Food Network Magazine, there's a recipe for avocado pie. I took that to be a sign that I was supposed to also make a pie to further repent for the pie I didn't have the night before.

My advice to you on this is complex, but boils down to this: Steer clear unless you (a) know what you're doing with an avocado, (b) have tried avocado pie before and know what it should be like, or (c) love desserts that taste a whole lot like a can of condensed milk. I believe avocado pie can be delicious. Mine, for which I'm pretty sure I followed the recipe to the letter, was not delicious. Take that as you will.

At any rate, between shopping, cooking, and baking, I spent a lot of my Sunday in the kitchen. It would've certainly been easier to just order what I wanted at the Diner. But after all was said and done, I ended up with a pork souvlaki recipe that's easy and delicious and that I will certainly make again, maybe sans apricots, because as delicious as they are the flavor is so tart and powerful that it seems impossible to eat one without making the tequila-shot face. Maybe they could be toned down. There, a little bonus piece of advice for you—tone down your apricots. Don't say I never gave you anything.

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Super-simple ribbon bookmark

There's something about a big, heavy hardcover book that feels very... for real.

I like them a lot. And I like them best without a dust jacket, even though I know how important a dust jacket is if you want your nice books to stay nice. It's just that they detract from the old-timey credibility of a big, heavy book. They're too modern, too flashy. After all, no matter how practical it is to keep the dust jacket on, there's no denying that when you peek underneath, the book inside is at least 50% more appealing and impressive without it.

I guess that's true of people, too. Some people just look better naked. That's a fact. In one of my college life drawing classes, we had a model for the later part of the semester who was built absolutely perfectly from head to toe. Seriously, this girl was almost offensively good-looking. But I didn't recognize her at the end-of-class shindig because with clothes on, she really didn't look that great.

Come to think of it, I guess maybe she just didn't know how to dress. But you see what I'm saying. Wait. What was I...? Books?


Hardcover books are for fancy, is what I'm trying to say.

I especially love the metallic lettering on the covers of nice hardcover books. In a way, it's baffling that virtually every hardcover book, regardless of how highbrow it may be, gets its title gets stamped in foil. Especially in this age of cost-cutting and high fructose corn syrup. But I'll take it. It adds luxury, like when they edge the all the pages in gold.

And as we all know, the most luxurious part of the whole hardcover experience, the strongest tie to an age when books were the hottest thing going, is that little ribbon bookmark that they sew into the binding for your convenience.

Except when they don't.

What the hell, bookbinders?

I understand that sewing in a bookmark costs more than not sewing in a bookmark. I have a stable background in basic math and economics and I know that except in very rare cases, something costs more than nothing. There is no such thing as a free bookmark. But it's only a little piece of ribbon, bookbinders! Go ahead, spend the extra penny on us! We're worth it!

No?

No.

I don't know about you, but I have some huge hardcover books that for whatever reason just don't have the little ribbon bookmark. And I don't like it. Unlike crappy paperbacks, which are easy to keep my place in as long as I have some unopened American Express offers I haven't thrown out yet, I think reading nice books warrants using nice bookmarks. Nice books don't deserve to be stuffed with garbage. So for once, rather than complain, I decided to do something about it. I opened up my sewing box and made a one-size-fits-all fancy ribbon bookmark that I can use in all my favorite books. Voila!

Here it is. It's a fifteen-minute project, and all you need is some ribbon (enough to wrap vertically around your tallest book three times with a few inches to spare), something you can use as a slide (anything shaped like a figure 8 or a circle with a line through it will do, including actual bra slides if your ribbon is narrow), and a needle and thread.

I made this decorative slide out of a little brass charm I had and a bead that matches my ribbon. The charm was a circle, so I wrapped some wire securely around its middle like a belt. After that, all I had to do was sew one end of the ribbon to the wire-belt-part I had just made, which took about ten stitches. Ten sloppy stitches. Because no one is going to see them and I'm not good at sewing.

So, step one: Sew one end of your ribbon securely around the center of your slide.

Knowing that the ribbon will be going away from the slide in an upward direction, toward the top of the book, should help you determine which part of the ribbon is the back so you know where to do your sewing. My slide has a little loop with a bead dangling from it, so I wanted that to be the bottom. But if your slide doesn't have a top and bottom, it doesn't matter which side of the ribbon you face toward the front.

Either way, be sure to sew the ribbon as close as you can to the belt-part of your slide, so that the stitches will be hidden.

After it's sewn, all you have to do is put it on! The idea is the same as the way bra straps and other adjustable straps work. It's explained pretty well here, on a blog called 'You Sew, Girl.' These pictures may help if you still aren't sure what I mean:

Step two: To put it on, just place the slide against the front of the book, wrap the ribbon over and behind the front cover, and bring the ribbon back up to the slide. Then thread the end of the ribbon upward through the slide so that it holds tight to the front cover (remember the bra straps!), and the loose ribbon is at the top of the book. Man... this is not easy to illustrate verbally. More pictures?

Now it's a bookmark! You can run it down through the pages of your favorite fancy book and pretend it's sewn into the binding. (This is easiest if you're extremely gullible and have a short memory.)

Make it big enough to fit all your books and you can switch it from one book to another, depending on what you're reading. Then you'll always have a fancy bookmark to use, and your less expensive books can feel like a million bucks. Look at that! This just turned into something better than the thing it was made to replace! Take that, bookbinders. Your move.

If you have some favorite books you'd like to display, you can choose ribbon and hardware colors that complement the covers of each.

Since it's so quick to make, doing one for every book on your shelf may actually start to sound like a good idea. When you run out of books, you might even want to start making little ribbon straps for other things in your house, too, like your toothbrush or your microwave. I hope you don't do that, since it will mean you've lost your mind. But if you do make a bookmark for your microwave, please be sure to use a plastic slide and not a metal one. Safety first!

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Breakfast quinoa with fruit and honey

Hot cereal is not great. You know who knew that? My grandma. It didn't matter how much cinnamon or brown sugar or magic you put in it. Oatmeal, cream of wheat, that hot-grape-nuts stuff that people pretend to like... even if it reminded her of hot cereal, she wouldn't go near it. For the most part, she was right. Hot cereal is pretty squishy and gluey and meh.

In an offhand comment in a Q&A in Food Network Magazine, one of their celebrity chefs (someone named Ellie Krieger) mentioned that she likes quinoa with fruit, honey and milk as a hot cereal for breakfast.

So of course my first thought was, oh man, Grandma would have hated that. And then I thought, ...but it does sound kind of good.

There was no recipe or anything, but it sounded simple enough, so I made some. It was simple, and it was also lovely. It's nothing like hot cereal, in my opinion, so who knows, maybe even Grandma would've liked it. I'll be honest, that's a big maybe. She was very serious about avoiding hot cereal. But if the principle of a hot bowl of breakfast is something that you can tolerate, this is delicious.

First of all, the texture of quinoa is wonderful, and grows on me more each time I have it, with that wonderfully odd little crunchiness. It's so satisfying! And this version is at least as delicious as the savory kind. The sweetness and the texture and the hot quinoa with the cold fruit... I love it.

It takes less than 20 minutes to make, and I get to spend 15 of those minutes doing morning stuff, like washing my face and brushing my hair and staring at the floor, because the stove is doing all the work. And then at the end of 20 minutes, hot breakfast!

I probably don't even have to tell you about the complete protein found in quinoa, the excellent vitamins you can get from fruit, the good fatty acids in almond milk, or the possibility that you'll absorb potent bee-power from local honey. In fact, I can say from experience that breakfast quinoa gives you a solid kind of feelin'-good energy to head into your day, which is why it's my current number one favorite breakfast.

Don't be like that, Asian veggie patties and eggs. There has to be a second place.

Breakfast Quinoa

Makes 2 servings

• 2/3 cups quinoa, rinsed
• 1 1/3 cups almond milk
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• Chopped fruit (apples, bananas, berries, papaya — whatever's delicious)
• Honey

1. In a small saucepan, heat the milk, quinoa and vanilla until the milk begins to boil. Reduce heat to low (keep an eye on it, because even at low heat, the milk tends to froth), cover, and simmer for 15 minutes.
2. Divide the quinoa between two bowls, add chopped fruit, and drizzle honey to taste.

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